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Statistics indicate that a half of first marriages are likely to end in divorce. Divorce may be caused by different factors depending on the partner’s religious beliefs and level of education among many other factors. When divorce happens, it causes difficulties for children and adults. The decision to divorce is characterized by uncertainty and ambivalence regarding the future. To the children, divorce leaves them with negative effects such as guilt, feeling of abandonment, denial, anger, acting out and blame. It is advisable that couples go for marriage counseling in order to ferret out the issues that are causing them to disagree.
The ideal time to seek marriage counseling
It is prudent to seek marriage counseling even before marriage. However, a couple should go for counseling at anytime of their convenience. The following indicators signify the appropriate time when a couple should seek for counseling.
- When communication is negative – deterioration of communication between couples is a sure way of seeking for counseling. Negative communication may involve statements that may leave one partner feeling disregarded, depressed, withdrawn and insecure. Such communication may also be nonverbal or cause physical and emotional abuse
- When a partner or both partners have had an affair – Recovering from an affair is a herculean task for any marriage. It requires willingness to forgive and commitment to remain faithful. However, through marriage counseling, a couple may salvage their marriage.
- The aspect of being more of roommates than couples – It is prudent for a couple to seek the services of skilled clinician, when there is lack of intimacy, conversation and communication in their marriage life. This way, the missing link may be activated and the marriage salvaged.
- When one partner develops negative feelings such as resentment, it is imperative for such a couple to seek for counseling services. A qualified clinician is able to help such a couple resolve their negative feelings and be able to express themselves.
- When a couple is solely staying together because of the children, it is sensible for such a couple to involve the input of a third party. The advantages of marriage counseling
- Through marriage counseling, a couple is able to resolve their conflicts in an amicable manner. Marriage counselors equip the couples with communication skills that will help them listen to each other and process what the other partner is saying.
- The couple will be in a position to be assertive without coming out as offensive. The partners should be able to discuss about their issues without hurting the feelings of each other. Qualified marriage counselors’ help couples to learn on how to make demands without the necessity of engaging in conflicts.
- Marriage counseling has seen many couples learn how to state their needs plainly and candidly without anger or resentment.
- A partner that attends marriage therapy is able to process and work on resolving different issues. During marriage counseling, couples can be provided with a safe environment where they can express their unhappiness about their partner and resolve the same in a healthy manner. Many couples have found that their partner’s are willing to solve the problems within their marriages, with the help of a trained expert, against their expectations.
- Marriage therapies have helped couples to have a deeper comprehension of their spouses and their needs. Through marriage therapies, many marriages have been salvaged.
It is imperative to note that marriage counselors can teach a couple on the relationship skills that are crucial to enhancing their marriage. The best part is that the marriage counselors can teach these relationship skills while monitoring the progress, arbitrating conflicts and providing objective feedback to the couples. By visiting a marriage counselor, you will be able to protect yourself from future regrets.
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Anthony is an avid blogger from Tulsa, Oklahoma who is passionate about encouraging healthy family values for all communities while working with the Gorospe & Smith Tulsa Divorce Law Firm in his own community.