Children and teens are like silent victims in homes where parents receive palliative homecare. The concern of their guardians, combined with the uncertainty of the future and restrictions on activities, creates pressure on their minds. This, in turn, can open a Pandora’s box of issues, ranging from high levels of anxiety to depression.
Photo from Pexels
Therefore, it is utmost important to provide them with proper support as well. While many consider it easier said than done, there are many tips available that one can follow.
Understanding the Problems with Teens and Children
Issues can be fixed if they are properly addressed. Therefore, before we dive into how one can support children whose parents are going through palliative care, here is the list of problems that they deal with.
Emotional Distress and Fear of Loss
It is hard for a child when looking at their parents going through palliative care. A feeling of sadness and loss surrounds them, combined with fears that they will lose their parents. This fear is heightened with feelings of helplessness, confusion, and an overwhelming sense of grief.
Reversing the Role and More Responsibilities
With their parents undergoing intense treatments, the roles are reversed, with children now becoming responsible for their parents. They must take on household responsibilities as well as caregiving duties. This often leads to stress and a feeling of losing out on childhood. Teens are especially frustrated and stressed, as they find the added responsibility of balancing social commitments and school to be very overwhelming.
Sense of Isolation
The care demands of the parents hamper their children’s ability to participate in social activities and spend time with their friends. This feeling of isolation makes them feel like no one understands them, and they feel disconnected from their peers who do not share the same experience.
Difficulty in Expressing Emotions
Seeing their family members going through the pain of treatments, many children end up suppressing their emotions, fearing that they would overburden their family members. These feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, and more can manifest in the form of behavioral issues, withdrawal, and even academic decline.
Uncertainty About the Future
When a parent is suffering from a chronic illness, the family dynamics shift, leading to fear among children who don’t know what the future holds for them. They might fear financial struggles or wonder what they will do when they don’t have a parental figure to help them. This removes the sense of security and stability from their life, creating the foundation for other issues to emerge.
How to Support Children of Parents Going through Palliative Care – Top Tips
It is not very challenging to care for kids with parents undergoing palliative homecare. Here are the top tips to follow.
Foster Open Communication
First, create a safe environment for children and teens to express their emotions and ask questions. Buckle up, however, for they will be feeling frustrated. Therefore, focus on using age-appropriate language to explain what palliative care is and what it does. They might be uneasy initially about expressing themselves, so encourage them to be honest. Tell them that it is ok to feel angry, stressed, and even sad. And make sure to check on them daily to address their concerns.
Provide Reassurance to the Kids
Tell the kids that they are loved and supported, regardless of how dire the situation around them is. Children most often blame themselves for their parent’s illness. Tell them that it is not their fault and assure them that medical professionals are working around the clock to help their parents. The homecare provider can also help stabilize their routine and give them a sense of security.
Involve them in Caregiving Work
To tackle the feeling of helplessness that kids often feel, involve them in simple caregiving work. Make it age-appropriate. Ask them to help with meals, read to their parents, or spend time together. Letting them participate in caregiving tasks helps them feel more worthy and connected. However, do not leave everything to them, since it could lead to feeling overwhelmed, which is counterproductive.
Try to Maintain Normalcy
You want children to have a sense of stability by helping them keep up with their daily routine as much as possible. Encourage them to participate in hobbies, go to school, and engage in social activities. Console them that taking a break every now and then is important and can help them enjoy life to the fullest.
Offer them Professional Support
Talk to counselors as well as therapists who are experts in grief and family dynamics. Encourage them to join a support group of children with ailing parents. It will give them a safe space where they can emotionally express themselves and honestly talk about their experiences. With professional support, they can express themselves in a healthy way while preventing any undue issues.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
What the kids feel during these trying times is a mixture of frustration, sadness, anger, and anxiety. Do not try to “fix” them, as it would make the kids feel like their pains are not being heeded. Acknowledge their problems instead, and tell them it is ok to feel such a mix of emotions.
Create Special Memories
Parents undergoing palliative care now have the time to engage with their children in a more meaningful way. It is time to create everlasting experiences with kids, which is why you should not stop them from engaging. Take selfies, create albums, or even have a minor party around the house. This will give kids a sense of closeness and comfort.
Conclusion: Kids of Parents Undergoing Palliative Care Always Need Support
It is too easy to focus sharply on the patient and lose interest in those surrounding them. Children often find themselves losing their sense of innocence. Try to preserve it. Talk to them, engage with their emotions, and give them the peace they need to live their lives as well, for that is a crucial point in making palliative care more successful.
